The Midnight Hour

As bicyclist myself, I have to say “up yours” ;).

How would you like it, if you were at the gym working out and I repetitively yelled obscenities, took an air horn and blasted it in your ear, and swerved large 4000 pound objects in your direction pushing you into a 4 foot ditch and that’s only if you see it coming.

I just don’t understand it. Cars seem like vacuums that suck out all a persons humanity and common courtesy. If I bump into someone on the street, I’d say %99.9 of people indistinctly say: “I’m sorry”. Even if it isn’t their fault. Cut off that same person in your car, he or she will ride your ass for the next 10 minutes shouting obscenities while honking their horn. That is if your lucky, I’ve heard in San Diego housewives we’ll chase you down and shoot you.

Ohh, and the whole we drivers pay the taxes thing. Give me a break. As if bicyclists are all offshore entities in some Caribbean nation, and have a secret underground gasoline pipeline where we get untaxed gas.

PS. Bicyclists ride in the center of the road on purpose, it is so cars don’t cut us off. If you hug the side of the road, drivers will not slow down. Instead, a driver will just slingshot around you; and when they notice they’re heading directly for a Mack truck doing 50, guess who they swerve into?

The road is not made for bicycles—it is made for cars.

You’re right - but the rules of the road say otherwise. Me, I don’t pretend that we’re equal and I only ride next the centerline to make a left turn.

Caveat - I ride a bike to work, but I’m not a nut about it - if it’s raining, or cold I drive. My route takes me along a back road, and the town is lousy with bike trails on the road.

Does someone have a case of the grumpies?

Jason,
I’d probably stay the hell out of that gym.

I never said I’m right: technically, morally, or legally. I just said I don’t like it. :)

Well, I don’t want to brag. But I’m always right technically, morally, and legally.

…which is why I’m glad to have you as a contributor here–to balance my ignorance.

Midnight: I just happened on your blog. As a grandmother, I feel isolated from the war and its direct impact on all of you young healthy humans, despite my effort to read, listen to and learn about Iraq & Afg. I do know this: You have earned the right to say d…. near anything you want to, in commenting on a generally unaware public. How about screaming: Pay Attention!!!

There’s something really wrong with you, Jeff. I hope you’re seeing a psychiatrist. Maybe you’d like to run over old ladies who cross the street too slowly too?

Mark, I wouldn’t advocate running them over, but if there’s a way to lightly make contact with my bumper and nudge them out of the way then I’m certainly game.

if there’s a way to lightly make contact with my bumper and nudge them out of the way

Sadly the stereotypical concealed carry guy and the stereotypical bicyclist do not mix (grin).

Texas state law says otherwise. The two cars that I have registered give me the right to follow the law and ride my bike where the law allows - which is as far on the right side of the right lane as is practical and safe.

[Edited because Jay Bond decided to resort to personal attacks instead of respectfully disagreeing like an adult.]

Jay, don’t think you can come to my site, insult me, and continue to post here. This is your only warning.

Type your comment here.
My bicycle buddy is an army Sergeant Major. His pants say “Army” across the butt.

Naturally some bicyclists are jerks. So are some car drivers.

The trouble with making ignorant redneck comments like this, is you drive away those who were attracted by sensible things you say elsewhere, like the NY Times today.

Goodbye, I won’t be back.

Some people must really troll the internet just looking for contention anywhere they can find it.

If you examine the archives you’ll find that my “Random Thoughts” pieces are short, tongue-in-cheek satires that make observations, sometimes absurd ones, about everyday life. They also have a tendency to piss people off, which is totally fine with me.

As the subtitle of my blog says “Not reading this is absolutely free.”

I’m sorry, you say you love running, but you hate bicycles? What gives?

What if someone said they hate it when people run against traffic and would love to run them over?

Mark,
That’s an excellent question. Let’s examine it.

First, assuming your point is a metaphor of what I said about bicyclists, let’s drop the hyperbole. I never said I would “love to run them over.” In fact, when I referenced a bicyclist getting hit I said “I hope it won’t be from me.” I may dislike sharing the road with bicyclists, but I’d dislike the moral, legal, and financial consequences of hitting one with my car even less.

Now, how would I feel if someone made a similar post about runners? I suppose I’d either get over it or die pissed off, which are always our two options when we take offense to something. Furthermore, I’d probably think that they’re not a runner and don’t understand why I need to be in the road sometimes. As you may have guessed, I am not an on-road bicyclist. I made no claims that I am all-knowing about the issue. I made a claim about how I feel about the issue.

Finally, I’d think they are entitled to their opinion. There’s nothing that requires them to like me or my hobbies. I don’t have a problem when people have a simple difference of opinion with me. I’m confident enough in myself that I don’t think everyone has to agree with my ideas in order to validate them. As a matter of fact, lately I validate my ideas by how many mainstream folk disagree with them.

In sum, I wouldn’t care if someone said they detested sharing the road with runners, and I don’t understand why otherwise sensible adults are willing to throw insults they’d never use in a personal conversation just because I don’t like sharing the road with bicyclists. In the end, that’s what I said: I don’t like sharing the road with bicyclists. It’s not an issue that’s up for debate. It’s a statement of fact. I don’t expect everyone to agree, and I certainly don’t think another person would be less entitled to a similar opinion about runners.

Just remember, runners build denser bones in addition to cardio-vascular health. :) You have a glorious afternoon.

Everyone has the right to be WRONG.

Article VI of the USMC Code of Conduct:
“I will never forget that I am an American, fighting for freedom, responsible for my actions, and dedicated to the principles which made my country famous.”

Marine Corps Leadership Traits lists:
“integrity - uprightness of character and soundness of moral principles”
“tact - the ability to deal with others without creating offense”

Jeff, you might consider a simple apology here. It’s obvious that virtually all of us consider your post wrong, threatening, and not worthy of a “Semper Fi” marine.

Why do you always seem so bitter? You hate cords, you hate guys on bikes. Is there anything you like?

Chad,
I also hate Fig Newtons. You forgot the Fig Newtons.

Deb,
The code of conduct was created to guide one’s actions when captured as a POW. It is intended to help the service member survive with honor under interrogation. It couldn’t be more of an apples to oranges comparison than the way you are using it. I’m also pretty sure the last word of Article VI is “free” and not “famous.”

As far as integrity: I told the truth. I suppose you would have preferred a more cozy half-truth that would give everyone a warm fuzzy feeling and entice us to sit around a camp fire and sing kumbaya. You don’t want integrity; you want me to agree with you.

Tact. You may have something there. However, is satire supposed to be tactful? Isn’t it the very lack of tact expressed by some characters that you laugh at on evening sitcoms? Does Raymond’s father on Everybody Loves Raymond ring a bell? I’m not dealing with a co-worker here, I’m writing satire. Once again, you want to laugh at lack of tact when you like it and scowl at it when you don’t.

Finally, I honestly don’t care what you or as you so shrewdly count “almost all of you” think about what I wrote. I don’t write this blog for you. I never have and I never will. And to think you can spend 5 minutes with google and tell me why a paragraph about bicyclists is contrary to Marine Corps values? Absurd.

I suppose all the naysayers are perfect. You never feel frustration at inconvenience, huh? Well, maybe you do, but you certainly wouldn’t write about it, would you? That’s the only difference. One of us put ink to paper and the other did not.

If you disagree with me I support you 100% in your right to have an opinion contrary to my own. But don’t try to lay a guilt trip on me about a paragraph of admittedly flamboyant rambling. In that case I’d suggest you first address the log in your own eye.

I agree with your view of idiot bicyclist . I think you will find this mildly amusing. While I was in the reserves a number of years ago, we were convoying up to West Point for some training. Our convoy (3 deuces and a couple humvees came upon a group of about fifteen spandex laden morons taking up the road. Some got out of the way but some stayed as far in the lane as possible without getting run over. I was driving a deuce; when I got just in front of the lead moron who was partly in the road, I had to swerve. Well I floored that diesel and the largest cloud of black smoke came out of those pipes I had ever seen in my rear view mirror and enveloped the bunch of them. All I can remember is hearing all the laughing from the back of the truck by my comrades. Oh yeah and a “give that man a cigar” from my sargent when we got to our destination :)HOORAAH

You know.. there is something to your argument Jeff. I won’t comment on the other commenters as it looks like you’ve got that handled quite nicely (as always) After having nearly run over 2 bicyclists running red lights at intersections around here, I tend to share your feelings. I’ve always told people I don’t understand the reasoning behind not letting bike riders ride on the sidewalk. Especially around here, sidewalks aren’t over populated with people and the risk of causing a serious accident is far less if the riders would use them. Ever since I was a kid, my family would yell “20 points!” when passing someone riding on a bike in the street. Sortof a joke in that, while going about your normal business, a slight flip of the wrist could seriously give that guy a bad day and how he could avoid such situations so easily but chooses not to.

“I also hate Fig Newtons. You forgot the Fig Newtons.”

While I might agree with your statements on bike riders, I feel you’ve absolutely taken things a bit too far. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Fig Newtons and in fact, they actually are quite tasty. You have just lost all of my confidence in your abilities to function as a human being with normal taste buds.

I’m not going to argue with you - I know it’s satire, and as a cyclist, all I care about is that everyone uses the roads in a safe, legal manner. The law says I can ride on the road, so that’s where I’ll be. With all due respect, it doesn’t concern me whether you like it or not - I follow the laws, and as long as you don’t hit me, I’ve got no problems.

Just keep in mind that many of us have lost friends and loved ones because of inattentive and aggressive drivers - people are dead because someone else wasn’t careful. You, more than most, can appreciate this. This is why a lot of cyclists react viscerally to these sort of comments, whether they are satirical or not.

Mike,
I’m sure someone will be along in a minute to add to your comments why I wasn’t fit to be a Marine because I don’t like Fig Newtons.

jmg,
Bravo. Not only do I admire your attitude about the subject (being unconcerned whether I like it or not, you’re allowed to so you will) but you are one of the first people to actually give me some insight into why this sparked such indignation. Rest assured, I certainly don’t want to hit you or any other cyclist. Thanks.

Working backwards, Jeffrey, I, too, am bugged by the fake voice. Nissan truck commercials gall me the most.

The writing on the butt: yes, of course.

Now, the bicyclist thing: I believe you have it a bit wrong. You seem to imply that bicycles are meant for the sidewalk. That is hardly so. Bicycling is between auto and foot traffic. They’ve pretty much gotta use the road. The only time I see bicyclists get right out in the traffic is when it makes sense: when, for instance, there is no room otherwise and the traffic is moving slow enough to make it feasible. And, if we are going to curb our voracious, war-causing appetite for oil, human-powered vehicles will be part of the solution. I suggest, you buy a good bike and hit the streets. It will probably at least put a dent in the annoyance factor that bicyclists seem to cause you. :)

As another former Marine Corps officer who likes to bike and thinks the roads are, in fact, made to share by all who travel on them, I say lighten up, get out of your car and see the view.

Midnight, I agree! Bicyclists have no place on your roads. I didn’t know you were so committed to build more bike paths.

I’ve already let the people at the Alabama Safe Routes to School campaign that you will be donating generously.

http://alabike.org/SR2S_Works/

An old bike nut I know here in Connecticut told me that the early paving of roads in this state over 100 years ago was directly a result of the popularity of bikes. He said biking was just a massive thing then. So how we use roads and view them is always connected to the historical moment, and conditions.

I love being on the road in Taiwan (where my wife is from), because in its chaos I see the real tolerance of which humans are capable. People do crazy stuff all the time, like making left hand turns from the right hand lane, and they never get cursed out (unless it is done so quickly no one has time to adapt). The key is everyone stays safe by paying close attention to everyone else, as well as following a simple code of conduct: we all make mistakes, so we had better not be too hard on those who do. Now that I think of it, Taiwan seems like quite a Christian place — in spirit, if not in theology.

Bikes, motor scooters, and cars (not to mention food carts and the like) share the road with pedestrians.

This is a hard country, created by hard men.

you all have no life.

Sounds like PTSD to me.

To the person who (mis)quoted Marine Conduct, and others who feel they need to troll a comment section:
I do believe this country has a freedom most of us cherish/abuse called Freedom of Speech. Here is a person who just spent some time fighting for that right that people enjoy. God forbid he exercise that right himself? If you don’t like what someone says…don’t read it. You have that right, too.

I for one thought it was an amusing random thing to stumble upon when I was looking for something else entirely. So amusing in fact, I may just read some more…