Thought for the Day


Today I passed a kid selling candy bars in a shopping center. I didn’t care to donate to his particular cause, but being one to always try things differently, I decided on an original way of telling him that. When he asked me if I wanted to buy a candy bar I looked him straight in the eye and said in Arabic “I don’t speak English.” He replied “Oh” and went about his business. Not only did he buy it, but it didn’t seem to strike him as strange that a guy in Oceanside, CA, who is white as the day is long with distinct Anglo-Saxon features spoke a language other than English. Perhaps I can use this tactic on tele-marketers. If I learn similar phrases in other languages I could theoretically have my call passed around from interpreter to interpreter, telling each one in his non-native language that I speak German, or I speak Spanish, or I speak Swahili and need to talk to someone who can translate. As soon as the translator picked up I could then inform them that I don’t speak their language, I speak…and so on. Perhaps after a few rounds of hooking and jabbing I could get a manager on the line in English and complain that I wanted to buy his product but had been passed around by his incompetent workers and now I had changed my mind. The lesson I took away is that nothing will make someone scream and flee from an optional social encounter quite like a language barrier will.

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October 28th, 2006
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Comment Number:
1
Written by:
Melanie
Posted on:
October 28, 2006 at 11:02 am

Most amusing concept. French: Je ne parle pas Anglais.
Italian: non parlo inglese
Spanish: no hablo ingles

although there won’t be pronuciation guides you can find MANY languages to translate to at http://babelfish.altavista.com

Comment Number:
2
Written by:
Mintz
Posted on:
October 28, 2006 at 3:25 pm

When you do that, make sure you record the call and become famous on the internet for it! :)

Comment Number:
3
Written by:
Tilla Ocotilla
Posted on:
October 28, 2006 at 4:57 pm

I used to have fun with the telemarketers when I worked an odd shift. Nothing scares the hell out of them more than getting an irate caller on their employee line. Love switchboard.com, very useful in locating the general area the call center is in. Most of those front office folx don’t like being told that a load of prime New Mexico cows**t is headed to their front door.

Comment Number:
4
Written by:
Janet
Posted on:
October 28, 2006 at 10:19 pm

A novel and very amusing way to short circuit telemarketers!! I love it!! Good thinking this or any other day!

Comment Number:
5
Written by:
yrizaria
Posted on:
October 30, 2006 at 11:28 am

You already deal with telemarketers in ways that leave me in awe and admiration. I’m a wuss, I just screen the calls and let the machine pickup. Although a few days ago I saw a man get a call on his cellphone (I am usually juggling to get it when my cell rings and I answer even when it’s not a number I recognize) It was a telemarketer! Now that scares me. Not only will I be annoyed but I will have PAID for the privilege.

Comment Number:
6
Written by:
Eric Atkins
Posted on:
October 30, 2006 at 6:50 pm

@ yrizaria: I’ll be upset the day I get a telemarketing call on my cell. I protect that number pretty well. However, I don’t know how well my friend’s protect that number.

@ Midnight: I wonder what would happen if you spoke Arabic in an H2 lobby. Negative feedback?

Comment Number:
7
Written by:
Kat
Posted on:
November 2, 2006 at 2:34 pm

First time on this site, and just browsing! But I just had to say that is an ingenious idea and it cracked me up! Our sense of humor is two of a kind!!!!! LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!!!!

Comment Number:
8
Written by:
Luigi
Posted on:
November 5, 2006 at 3:34 pm

Love this idea M8! For the first time I am looking forward to getting a telemarketing call. I hate them most of the time but always consider that the people making the calls are just doing their job. This sounds like fun.

I’ve often thought about turning the tables and asking them loads of questions, but I’m a nice guy and they probably get paid by the number of calls.

Comment Number:
9
Written by:
Emma
Posted on:
December 7, 2006 at 11:35 pm

When it comes to telemarketers, I generally pretend to sound interested for the first 20 seconds or so and then interupt the sales patter with “I’m really sorry, could you hold on just a moment?” - which I then follow with my favourite game, cunningly entitled “how many minutes will they stay on hold waiting for me to come back on the line and running up their phone bill?”

The record so far goes to a double glazing company, who waited for me for a grand total of 15 minutes and 43 seconds… :o)

Comment Number:
10
Written by:
Pacman
Posted on:
December 20, 2006 at 3:49 pm

Great way to handle the mall telemarketers. When I get calls at home I tell them that I am interested, but don’t have the time right now. I ask for their home phone number and when they think they will be home to talk to me. I had one guy argue with me for 3 minutes before he finally hung up. I love makeing telemarketers hang up on me. It’s a nice reversal…

Comment Number:
11
Written by:
Xyane
Posted on:
December 22, 2006 at 8:30 am

Have you registerd with the National Do Not Call Registry?

DoNotCall.Gov

You can register your home and cell numbers. This eliminates most all telemarketing calls. If you do get a call, notify them you are on the “do not call registry”. Tell them if they call again you will file a complaint at the same site. The website does investigate complaints, and will fine them for violations. You may want to keep a record of the time and length of calls if they become a problem.

Good luck.

Xyane.