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NMCI: In a ClASS By Itself
Migrating to the Navy-Marine Corps Intranet (NMCI, the Marine Corps’ one-stop solution for all our computing and internet needs) is possibly the best thing the USMC has ever done. The taking of Mount Suribachi came close, but the implementation of NMCI has had much further-reaching impacts than the defeat of fascism.
Before I tell you why I like NMCI, let me tell you about the old ways. Before Loki, the Norse god of mischief, decided to bless us with his crowning achievement, NMCI, our network was run by local Marines. They had control over every part of the network: administrator privileges, installing software, blocked websites, etc. With productivity at a record high, something had to be done. You can easily see that in a day when the Marine Corps needs to be prepared to face the threat of the Global War on Terror, this was much too permissive and fluid an environment for us to operate in. Thankfully, NMCI soon took control of our network and fielded their own computers, ushering in a feeling of awe at how we toppled Baghdad without them.
I like NMCI because it encourages a return to tradition and enforces personal interaction in the workplace. When I sit down first thing in the morning and log in (not a cold boot, mind you, just logging in), I know I am at least four minutes away from freely moving the mouse on my shiny NMCI laptop, so I go talk to my chief and see what he’s got going for the day. When that is over I return and open Outlook. While Outlook loads almost immediately (approximately 10 seconds, not bad for software in the year 2006, huh), connecting to the exchange server where my email is stored presents me with another opportunity to kill five minutes before my email is fully downloaded. Sometimes I use the time to go across the hall to a friend’s office and shoot the bull. Sometimes I’ll make a necessary phone call. If I run out of options sometimes I’ll just call another random lieutenant, who is probably waiting on his email to load as well. That’s just one example of the many ways NMCI promotes camaraderie and a sense of working together towards a common goal (reading your email).
In the rare case I can’t find anyone in the office to talk with and there are no phone calls to be made I will turn to some non-computer based work that needs to be done, like re-writing commonly used phone numbers on my printed phone roster. I would normally type these into the phone roster spreadsheet and then re-print it, but when my computer has 98% of its resources consumed by downloading my ten or less text-based emails, a pencil and paper is the way to go. This is how NMCI helps us “return to our roots†by completing tasks much the same way we would have in 1998 when the fledgling internet of the day would rival the bottlenecked packet-swallower that is today’s NMCI. In today’s high-speed technology-oriented environment sometimes we need to slow down, watch a computer generated hourglass, and remember how serene life can be absent the hurdles of 21st century computing and the demanding pace of the information age.
NMCI also helps me focus on one task at a time by shrewdly equipping me with a laptop that simply can’t run two Microsoft Office applications at once. Knowing that I just can’t have a Word document open while I prepare a Powerpoint brief makes me read and inspect that Word document much more closely, eagerly memorizing phrases (or writing them on a sticky note–see the preceding “return to our roots†paragraph) while I close the document, open Powerpoint, refill my cup of water while I wait for Powerpoint to load, and then finally insert the bullet onto a slide. NMCI challenges me to do things differently, and I like that.
Troubleshooting printers is another NMCI-driven task that teaches the user attention to detail. It’s fun to peruse government contracts looking for any wording that rigidly defines consumable parts (toner, ink, etc–responsibility of the Marine Corps) and non-consumable parts (everything else–responsibility of NMCI). When you can’t find such wording, and are forced to let NMCI and the Marine Corps point fingers at each other over little plastic wheels while your printer stays inoperable for two months, you soon learn frugality—by buying the parts yourself. NMCI isn’t just about delivering a quality computing experience, they’re here to help you learn life’s lessons: thriftiness, anger management, how to restart your workstation (the NMCI help-desk answer to all computer problems), and why you should graduate high school (if you don’t NMCI will hire you onto their customer service team).
I also get a feeling of inner peace knowing that I never have to install a single piece of software ever again—because I can’t. Allowing users to operate strange software like Microsoft Frontpage (which one could theoretically use to work on his unit’s website) would introduce flexibility and effectiveness that simply isn’t needed. That would be too much of a good thing, like eating three bags of Twizzlers in an hour. I also get a warm fuzzy feeling from telling people “Sorry, man. That .mov file from the Marine Corps Ball might as well be coded in PASCAL on a Chinese keyboard, because nobody on NMCI can read it.†…just another example of NMCI forging connections between people.
NMCI is the holistic solution to life’s problems. Not only do they instill a rigorous work ethic in all their users, but they make sure that expectations are never set too high. NMCI is the best thing to happen to the Marine Corps since Chesty Puller and liberty calls in the Philippines. I just wish I could get NMCI at home. Hell, I’d eat an official NMCI breakfast cereal every morning if they’d only make one. NMCI is just like PT: good for you, good for me, and a great tool to make you sweat when the pressure is on. Time to save this document… I wonder what Sean is doing?
Let me guess, it’s a subsidiary of that reliable and proven govenment contractor, Haliburton!