Information and Links

Join the fray by commenting, tracking what others have to say, or linking to it from your blog.

Information
May 3rd, 2006
36 Responses
Feeds and Links
Comment Feed
From This Author
Del.icio.us
Digg
Technorati
Categories
Iraq

Other Posts
Top 7 Lies We’ve Told Insurgents
Thoughts from the Firmbase

Top 7 Insurgent Lies

Posted by Midnight on May 3rd, 2006

Closing up shop

All of these are 100% actual, satisfactual verbal exchanges I have witnessed.

Number 7.
Us: Where is your husband?
Them: He died in a car accident.
Us: Who is this guy?
Them: A stranger we invited over to take care of the family.

Number 6.
Us: [in Arabic] What’s your name?
Them: No speak English.
Us: That wasn’t English!

Number 5.
Us: Why do you have someone else’s birth certificate?
Them: I found it on the street.

Number 4.
Them: It wasn’t us that shot at you. It was three other masked men who then jumped in a car and left.
[From three men caught with a trunk full of weapons, after having shot at us.]

Number 3.
Them: This isn’t my ID. It is his (gesturing towards detainee next to him).
Us: Then why is your picture on it?

Number 2.
Us: Why do you plant IEDs in the road?
Them: Because it damages the road and then the Americans fix it and make it better.

And the top insurgent lie I have heard.
Us: Can you show us where Bob (name substitution) lives?
Them: That will create a problem between our families.
Us: Right now you have a problem with us.



Write a Comment

Take a moment to comment and tell us what you think. Some basic HTML is allowed for formatting.

Reader Comments

Comment:
1
Written by:
Brick
Posted on:
May 3rd, 2006 at 10:08 am

ROFL

Comment:
2
Written by:
The Thunder Run
Posted on:
May 3rd, 2006 at 11:50 am

Dumb Criminals the World Over…

From Midnight in Iraq comes the top 7 lies told by insurgents….

Comment:
3
Written by:
Laura, Marine mom from Ohio
Posted on:
May 3rd, 2006 at 12:10 pm

I don’t know how you keep it together! This was great! I love the last one. Keep finding the humor in everything & send it our way. Stay safe!

Comment:
4
Written by:
Slayer
Posted on:
May 3rd, 2006 at 12:34 pm

Brick said it, ROFL!

Comment:
5
Written by:
jdb0857
Posted on:
May 3rd, 2006 at 1:28 pm

Excellent work. Be SAFE.

Comment:
6
Written by:
Thomas Hood
Posted on:
May 3rd, 2006 at 2:21 pm

Man you guys shouldnt be doin that shite, you ought to be home

I’m a member of the Defence Forces (Irish Army) and imo I can’t figure out why they’re getting you guys to do a job that is meant for peacekeepers.

I mean yu guys arent detectives yknow wat i mean?

Comment:
7
Written by:
jsumms34
Posted on:
May 3rd, 2006 at 2:22 pm

this is a great blog. Im getting ready to deploy any advice? I am a Seabee reservist. Keep up the good work

Comment:
8
Written by:
Blawg De Novo » Blog Archive » Top 7 Insurgent Lies Amazingly Universal
Posted on:
May 3rd, 2006 at 2:27 pm

[…] From Midnight in Iraq: Top 7 Insurgent Lies at Midnight in Iraq - A Marine’s blog. Live from Fallujah. […]

Comment:
9
Written by:
DoDgal
Posted on:
May 3rd, 2006 at 2:46 pm

Great post! Love the one about IEDs, used so the roads will get fixed.

Sometimes I ask myself at work, “What color is the sky in your world?”

Great Blog!

Comment:
10
Written by:
Midnight
Posted on:
May 3rd, 2006 at 2:54 pm

The one about IEDs was from a 12-year old.

I’ve also heard some funny lies we’ve told them. Perhaps I’ll post that another time.

Comment:
11
Written by:
Mark
Posted on:
May 3rd, 2006 at 3:14 pm

Man, talk about black humour.

You are a gifted writer. If you ever write a book about your experiences in the Marines and/or Iraq, I will sure as hell buy it.

Good luck and stay safe!

Mark
UK

Comment:
12
Written by:
Karin
Posted on:
May 3rd, 2006 at 3:31 pm

Incredible…you could write a book-Lies Insurgents Have Told Us!!!

Comment:
13
Written by:
Slayer
Posted on:
May 3rd, 2006 at 6:40 pm

“Midnight in Iraq: A Marine’s journal by Jeff Barnett”

Comment:
14
Written by:
jdb0857
Posted on:
May 3rd, 2006 at 6:58 pm

When you write your book and it a NYT best-seller, can I work for you?

Be SAFE

Comment:
15
Written by:
Mintz
Posted on:
May 3rd, 2006 at 8:20 pm

Wow, that deserves an “lol”
Here, I’ve got one in my pocket: lol

Those are pretty funny. Makes you wonder how much they believe people when they calls us “stupid Americans.”

Comment:
16
Written by:
Patricia
Posted on:
May 4th, 2006 at 2:12 am

HMMMMM getting the roads fixed? All the pot holes we have here in the midwest, they never get fixed…lolol.. Loved this post, got my laugh for the day! Great JOB!
Patricia

Comment:
17
Written by:
binowest
Posted on:
May 4th, 2006 at 2:35 am

Rock on Midnight. Late night comedy has nothing on you. What I can’t understand is how the 2nd largest oil producing country in the world is living in such squalor. I guess that is why you are there, and I salute you and my son who is a Marine for being there. Semper Fi Sharon

Comment:
18
Written by:
Karen Brown
Posted on:
May 4th, 2006 at 11:41 am

My son is Case Cardenas, in Fallujah, Iraq, you might know him

Comment:
19
Written by:
DougS
Posted on:
May 4th, 2006 at 5:42 pm

And my niece is at the Fallujah base right now, Leslie Spector (radio tech, training some other troops).

Comment:
20
Written by:
Chris
Posted on:
May 4th, 2006 at 6:08 pm

Three other guys with masks… Excellent. You get ‘em???

Comment:
21
Written by:
Julie
Posted on:
May 4th, 2006 at 10:26 pm

OMG - rotflmao - those sound just like Jason’s (my Soldier) stories. Those people have either no shame or think we’re stupid. Perhaps both. Wrong again!! But it does break up the daily grind doesn’t it. Be Safe and Prayers always/

Comment:
22
Written by:
MP 1975
Posted on:
May 5th, 2006 at 9:49 am

“that will create a problem between our families”

For whatever it is worth there is a thread of truth in the number 1 answer. You guys are standing in the middle of a family fued. I will do some research and find out what finally ended the fued between the Hatfields and McCoys in Tennessee or was in Kentucky, and pass it on.

In the meantime keep safe and watch out for the 3rd cousin and the brother in law of the guy you just apprehended.

Comment:
23
Written by:
Lou
Posted on:
May 5th, 2006 at 3:36 pm

That sounds like a jr. high class I once taught.

Comment:
24
Written by:
kbug
Posted on:
May 6th, 2006 at 11:04 pm

These are great!!! I especially love the one about the IEDs…what an imagination. Love your blog. I’ve added a link on mine.

Semper Fi, Marine, and keep up the great work…from the daughter of a Marine….. :)

Comment:
25
Written by:
Kath
Posted on:
May 7th, 2006 at 12:29 pm

Fantastic, will be linking to this one soon! It always makes me happy that y’all find ways to amuse yourselves, laugh. Keep on finding the humor!

Comment:
26
Written by:
beth
Posted on:
May 8th, 2006 at 3:46 pm

Hi,
I ran across ur blog and I have to say I love it! Wonderful pictures. My husband is there also, he left in Nov. he is with the 101st airborne, 1-61st cav 506 INF DIV. He’s FOB is Ruistaymia. (think spelling is right) Anyway thank you for all that u do. keep Pictures coming and all the great detail. You should have that job! If you by chance see a SGT P. Fields tell him his wife misses him alot and I wish all of our men well. If you need anything plz let me no or if there is anything my community can do, also let me know.

Thank you
Your in my prayers!

Comment:
27
Written by:
Tab
Posted on:
May 10th, 2006 at 5:54 pm

LMAO!!! Glad you are doing alright — keep writing - it serves you well!

Comment:
28
Written by:
Fuzzilicious Thinking
Posted on:
May 14th, 2006 at 10:12 am

Weekend Funnies…

Top 7 Insurgent Lies and Top 7 Lies We’ve Told Insurgents…

Insurgent Lie #2

Why do you plant IEDs in the road?
“Because it damages the road and then the Americans fix it and make it better.”…

Comment:
29
Written by:
Just a Decurion
Posted on:
May 15th, 2006 at 7:32 am

I like some conversations I had last tour with folks we caught with weapons.

Us: You have 12 AK-47s in the house. Why?

Them: I don’t know.

Us: Where did you get them?

Them: They belong to my cousin.

Us: Where did he get them?

Them: I don’t know.

Us: Where is your cousin?

Them: He went to Baghdad for business.

But the all-time winner was a buddy of mine whose platoon raided a house. They knew the guy was dirty, but couldn’t find anything in the house. Then someone noticed the clotheslines in the back yard. They were red.

Iraqi Detcord red.

Comment:
30
Written by:
Tracy
Posted on:
May 15th, 2006 at 2:14 pm

Top insurgent lies (haha)…. the middle east was a decent experience for me I was stationed over there for 2.5 years (my first duty station)… I was never in Iraq, which yeah, I’m thankful for. If I had been sent I would be in a different ball game right now. I was in Dubai & Bahrain…. some of your pics remind me of both…. I’m out of the mil now, eventually you will be too, but at least you can say you had/are having these experiences, gives you a diff perspective on life~ (that’s good that you got your BS)

Comment:
31
Written by:
Jennifer
Posted on:
May 16th, 2006 at 1:46 am

“Just a Decurion” mentioned a few that I loved.

Although it’s not anything new…I was on a patrol, and while setting up an OP on the third floor, the guys I was with started to search the place, after seeing a bunch of Ba’athist mucky-mucks in pictures around the place…

“Why do you have 15 AKs under the bed?”

“I dunno. They’re not mine.”

“Whose are they?”

“I dunno.”

“How did they get there?”

“I dunno.”

“……”

Sure, dude. You’re sleeping on top of AKs but you don’t know where they came from. Just tell us they belong to your brother, and we’ll get on with the next line of bull.

Comment:
32
Written by:
Mudville Gazette
Posted on:
May 25th, 2006 at 2:45 pm

Dawn Patrol…

Welcome to the Dawn Patrol, our daily roundup of information on the War on Terror and other topics - from the MilBlogs, other blogs, and the mainstream media. If you’re a blogger, you can join the conversation. If you link……

Comment:
33
Written by:
loans in california
Posted on:
July 1st, 2006 at 9:12 pm

loans in california…

loans in california
loans in california - loans in california
Knucklehead: “Knock, knock”
Pee Wee: “Who’s there?”
Knucklehead: “Little ol’ lady.”
Pee Wee: “Liddle ol’ lady who?”
Knucklehead: “I didn’t know you could yodel”
You attempt thi…

Comment:
34
Written by:
anyone got a spare
Posted on:
November 20th, 2006 at 2:04 pm

Midnight,

You should contact David Letterman and have him use your material for his top ten list since it’s much funnier than his material!

Comment:
35
Written by:
Modeling » Comment on Top 7 Insurgent Lies by model
Posted on:
October 3rd, 2007 at 11:40 am

[…] Allison wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptBut wait until you’re sweet. Jared, daddy, decided allison model that brenda walsh gobble this bed. […]

Comment:
36
Written by:
Modeling » Comment on Top 7 Insurgent Lies by Modeling » Comment on Top 7 …
Posted on:
October 3rd, 2007 at 12:44 pm

[…] Ecacofonix wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptAllison wrote an interesting post today onHere’sa quick excerptBut wait until you’re sweet. Jared, daddy, decided allison model that brenda walsh gobble this bed. […] […]